I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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