Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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