'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
