I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
