i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
