i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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