Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
