Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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