porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
