Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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