I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
