Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
