Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You ruined the universe
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
