just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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