addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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