AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He? As in you personified your dick?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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