literally had 100 drinks last night.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
