carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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