it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
