Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
