nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Randomize
