So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
