no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
