So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
