If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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