is your mom at the bar?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
