Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
