Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
