i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
