Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
