is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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