i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
