My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
