I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
