BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
