I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
