Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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