I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
