Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Can I color on your dick again?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
