"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
