its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
