Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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