I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
we're so committed to being not committed
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
