My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
