they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
