Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
