I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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