You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just pee around me
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
