Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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