I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
