return my video game
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
