im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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