i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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