pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
