I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
