My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
