Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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