I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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